Butt Harness

Scout, Dori, Homer, Cheeto, Louie, and I have been watching the Dog Whisperer each night as we fall asleep.  Last night, Homer had the awesome idea to take the dogs rollerblading, something that Cesar does all the time to exercise his dogs.  Scout and Dori were into it, so today after work, Mikey and I harnessed up the dogs and went rollerblading while the cats watched from the window. 
I should have known this would be harder than it appeared on TV the moment I stood up.  Another sign was the fact that it took me 10 min to figure how to get down the 2 stairs outside my door without falling.  After a few minutes, I was able to blade in a ridiculous position (butt out, arms extended, head up). 
Dori was straining at her leash the entire time.  No matter how fast we were going, she wanted to go just a bit faster.  Keep in mind, she is a toy poodle who weighs maybe 5 lbs, but she was running full speed ahead of me yelling at all of us to hurry up.
Scout brought up the rear.  This is an unusual position for Scout.  He's the dog who is constantly yapping at anyone withing hearing range to run and play with him.  He can't get enough walks and sometimes, late at night, I wake up to the creepy sight of Scout starring at me from about an inch away telepathically informing me he wants to go on a walk RIGHT then. 
Mike is in awesome shape, so he was getting pretty tired of holding back for Scout and me.  We managed to make it about 2 and a half miles before the dogs and I were both done.  Dori tried super hard to keep going, but Scout and I had enough.  Mike was literally dragging Scout at one point since he refused to move forward.  In the end, he rigged a type of butt harness that pulled Scout along by pushing his butt.  I've decided that I need one for our next exercise adventure. 
I could see the cat's laughing in the window as we returned. Obviously they had some alterer motive for getting us out of the house.  I bet they threw up on something.  If I come to work with a hairball on my shirt, will someone please tell me?