The latest fertility treatment didn't work we timed it exactly took clomid which produced levels indicating that two eggs were ovulated (done via blood work). This time around I tried some home remedies such as taking low dosages of musenex to thin the mucus to help the sperm get through and increase the chances of it attaching, and chiropractor.
It really really sucks. I've really want to cry about it, but haven't yet. I've thrown myself entirely into my work. I've written a GED Handbook to train our very new team. The book contains 20 pages, most of which I have collected the material and typed into an easy to read format. I provided a 2 hour presentation to our team today and really felt that I covered a lot.
When I started the GED team, my manger gave me a caseload of 85 customers. Prior to this, I had NO experience with the DWS training procedures. I arranged school visit, went to orientations so I knew times and locations to send customer. I also had to to learn to interpret the TABE scores and provide customers with information accurate interpretations. This all start when I got the bad news that we were going to have major issues conceiving, Looking back, I understand that my purpose duing this time was that I needed to help customers get their GED's and make sure I had a solid knowledge of the program myself.
I retreatedmyself in my work. My program went region wide and I'm proud of how successful we have been and it helped me cope with the disappointment as I knew I was making a difference in peoples lives and the lives of their children. Each time they think of their schooling experience, I know I have a part in that accomplishment and no matter what happens with my fertility or adoptions , its a great blessing to serve others and truly learn to love those you service.
After 3 IUI treatments failed, the first one with a miscarriage. I needed a break so I book a one way first class ticket to Washington DC. My sister in law was living there, I missed them and need a break so I took 3 weeks off to gallivant across the USA. After week of fun and amazing experiences I headed off to St Thomas, the US Virgin Islands, It was amazing. Check the photos on my facebook page. This is defiantly something I couldn't do with children, A months later Mikey went to St Thomas for 3 months to find himself., Turned out to be an amazing time for him and when I joined him 2 weeks that we actually could talk comfortably about our future. It was nice to have the time the time to work on our relationship and I count that as as another reason reason that I didn't have a child. I had time to find the real Maren and I've changed so much, I'm stronger, fear doesn't make my decisions, and I have the answer as to why God said no to a baby at this time.
Then we started trying again, First one ended in a miscarriage, We tried another two times but no success. I'm starting to see that my projects (trying to get tutoring for my customers) and its training to an intense project that I will help progress my career, so there is another positive, Mike also started school so the timing wouldn't have been great. And so I'm thinking that maybe a nice trip will be in order.
So to all my friends who struggle with fertility or having a hard time finding a spouse, be patient and God will show you why you have this trail and find ways to serve those others around you and do activities that you could not due with child or a spouse. Take a trip, Buy ridiculously expensive item.
Know that god is watching over you and will lead you on the right path and you have to be willing to hear him, I love my friends and family and if you need the support, let me and I'll there holding your hand.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
9 days...And a in-depth desciption of fertility treatments
9 more days. The wait is killing me!! And my brain is super fried. Good thing I have learned to preform well under pressure. Plus staying busy at home and work keeps me from obsessing. Ha Ha. Not really.
I realized that some people reading this may not be familiar with a lot of the technical stuff that goes into diagnosing and treating infertility so I'm going to explain. And I'm going to print this off and wave it in front of any offspring that I have (adopted or biological) when they inevitably tell me that "I don't love them". The medical procedures and public humiliation that Mikey and I have undergone proves otherwise.
Recognizing you are having trouble reproducing can take a while. All the Internet info will tell you that if you are under 25, don't worry if it takes a year or two to conceive, so I didn't. By 26 I started to wonder. We had been using no protection for years, and nothing was happening, I was starting to question if we might have a problem. I REALLY hate going to the doctor for "female issues" though (I don't want any lectures, but I have only had 3 pap smears in my entire life ) so I kept putting it off. Finally though, my sister in law got pregnant with after seeking medical help so I sucked it up., went in, and hoped for the same results.
The first doctors appointment is awkward. You have to go over your sexual history in great detail. With a total stranger. Lots of blood tests were ordered and they have to get them done on certain days of your cycle, so for a month I felt like a human pin cushion. All my bloodwork came back normal. Normal levels of progesterone, follicle stimulating hormone, ect, so it was on to the next step. Apparently any abdominal surgery can cause scarring that could potentially block Fallopian tubes and I"ve had a hernia repair surgery as an infant and my appendix out as an adult (awesome story, I refused to go to the hospital until it burst, and spent the day trying to work while periodically laying under my co-workers desk crying and throwing up when the pain got too bad. Sorry Jess), so an HSG test was requested. The doctor didn't tell me much about the procedure and I didn't ask. I figured it couldn't be that bad or the doctor would have warned me. Plus medical procedures kind of freak me out and I didn't want to give myself anxiety over nothing. HSG has some long involved name, which is irrelevant cause all you need to know is it HURTS !! To undergo this emotionally and physically traumatic experience I first had to pay $1500. Then I was admitted to Davis County hospital where the entire radiology department (8 people both male and female) decided to get an up close and personal view of me. Apparently this isn't a common procedure at Davis and it was a "training opportunity". I still cringe when I hear these words in any context. Sitting on the freezing table, I first realized that there might be a little more to this procedure than I thought. Then I saw the largest needle of my life. Seriously, the thing was 12 inches long and at least a half inch wide. When I questioned one of the many techs wandering around, I was assured that I wasn't going to be poked with the needle and given some lame excuse about the reason it was there. Stupidly, I bought the excuse, being somewhat distracted by the large group of people staring at me while I was naked from the waist down. Apparently the needle was used to allegedly "numb" my cervix. Yeah right. Still hurt.
Then the procedure began. OMG. Worst pain of my life. The idea of the HSG test is to inject dye into your fallopian tubes to look for blockages. It feels like really bad period cramps unless they find a blockage. Then they send this balloon inside and push the balloon and the dye against the blockage in an attempt to dislodge it. That really really really hurts. Worst pain of my life. Worst than my appendix. I couldn't even stand up straight for several hours after the procedure.
The verdict? One blocked fallopian tube. Not good, but at least one was functioning, so it was Mikey's turn. He had to provide a "sample" for mobility and quantity testing. The sample had to be provided in a cup, at the doctor's office to get an accurate reading. Poor guy. They handed him a cup and sent him to the bathroom of the Tanner Clinic. Everyone knew what he was doing. I probably should have been a bit more sympathetic, but I was still recovering emotionally from my HSG test and glad he was getting a taste of what I went through.
Mike's verdict? A very low sperm count with poor mobility. If I remember correctly, he was at 19 million per "sample". Seems like a lot right? Not when normal is 40 million plus. Male factor infertility accounts for 40% of all infertility cases. The downside to male factor infertility is that you can't provide men with the range of medications available to women. The doctor informed us it was time to seek out a specialist.
Time passed and we finally decided to follow through with the specialist. Utah fertility clinic was great. Pricey ($350 per apt), but good. Dr Heiner requested a special test to determine my egg quality. I can't remember the name, but thankfully it was only a blood test. The test determined the "age" of your eggs based on a chemical level in your blood while ovulating. If the level is high, its indicative of polycystic ovarian syndrome, a disease in which your body doesn't release eggs during ovulation. If the level is low, you have old eggs and it can indicate an early onset of menopause. Apparently I have the eggs of a 40 year old woman. I was 27 years old at the time of the test. There is nothing that can fix this problem. Your body only has so many eggs and when they are gone, so is your chance of having a biological child.
The recommendation from the doctor is trying a round of Inter Utero Insemination (IUI). This procedure involves the male providing a "sample". The sample is taken at the fertility center, filtered to obtain only the highest quality sperm, and then the sperm is placed in a special nourishing solution to increase mobility. Then a turkey baster is shoved up inside the woman and the solution is injected. We tried this procedure 3 times. The first time, Mikey's count was 10 million. It had dropped in half from the previous sample. The second try, the count was 3 million. The third try, it was 900,000.
There was no medical reason or treatment for this rapid decrease. It's simply genetic. By the second IUI, donor sperm or IVF was strongly suggested by the doctor. The cost of IVF was and still is impossible for our financial situation. Sperm donation is not something I'm comfortable with, mostly cause I've chatted with a few men who have donated or who thought about donating and that thought of my having their child (we wouldn't know the donors name, but still, I would always question it) made me realize that I'd rather stay childless. And in some cases, if it was a case of life and death, I would rather die.
That brings us pretty much to present day. I've had 2 miscarriages, which could be related to the poor sperm quality, my old eggs, or some other undiagnosed issue within me. The first one was with our first IUI attempt. It broke my heart. The second happened three months ago in the bathroom of the Syracuse movie theater. We stopped pursuing fertility treatments for few years after the 3rd IUI attempt because of the emotional trauma and difficulties it brought to our marriage and embraced the philosophy that whatever happens is meant to be. We started up again recently(at the time of the second miscarriage) and I've been taking a medication called clomid in hopes of producing multiple eggs during each ovulation cycle to compensate for Mikey's low sperm and my one blocked tube. Clomid sucks. I'm absolutely an emotional basket case. I want to scream for no reason at times and have NO patience. It takes every thing I have not to yell at people sometimes for silly things, such as loud breathing. I've had some pretty fantastic meltdowns over the past 3 months. Sorry Jess (just realized that there is a lot of apologizing to Jess in this) and Mikey. You guys are rock stars for putting up with my crazy.
9 mores days till I find out if this time it will be different. But even if it isn't, there will be some amazing lesson or reason for the failed attempt. Just a matter of figuring out what it is.
Next topic, relationships (cause I just didn't feel like discussing them today, but there has been a large effect on them) and adoption.
I realized that some people reading this may not be familiar with a lot of the technical stuff that goes into diagnosing and treating infertility so I'm going to explain. And I'm going to print this off and wave it in front of any offspring that I have (adopted or biological) when they inevitably tell me that "I don't love them". The medical procedures and public humiliation that Mikey and I have undergone proves otherwise.
Recognizing you are having trouble reproducing can take a while. All the Internet info will tell you that if you are under 25, don't worry if it takes a year or two to conceive, so I didn't. By 26 I started to wonder. We had been using no protection for years, and nothing was happening, I was starting to question if we might have a problem. I REALLY hate going to the doctor for "female issues" though (I don't want any lectures, but I have only had 3 pap smears in my entire life ) so I kept putting it off. Finally though, my sister in law got pregnant with after seeking medical help so I sucked it up., went in, and hoped for the same results.
The first doctors appointment is awkward. You have to go over your sexual history in great detail. With a total stranger. Lots of blood tests were ordered and they have to get them done on certain days of your cycle, so for a month I felt like a human pin cushion. All my bloodwork came back normal. Normal levels of progesterone, follicle stimulating hormone, ect, so it was on to the next step. Apparently any abdominal surgery can cause scarring that could potentially block Fallopian tubes and I"ve had a hernia repair surgery as an infant and my appendix out as an adult (awesome story, I refused to go to the hospital until it burst, and spent the day trying to work while periodically laying under my co-workers desk crying and throwing up when the pain got too bad. Sorry Jess), so an HSG test was requested. The doctor didn't tell me much about the procedure and I didn't ask. I figured it couldn't be that bad or the doctor would have warned me. Plus medical procedures kind of freak me out and I didn't want to give myself anxiety over nothing. HSG has some long involved name, which is irrelevant cause all you need to know is it HURTS !! To undergo this emotionally and physically traumatic experience I first had to pay $1500. Then I was admitted to Davis County hospital where the entire radiology department (8 people both male and female) decided to get an up close and personal view of me. Apparently this isn't a common procedure at Davis and it was a "training opportunity". I still cringe when I hear these words in any context. Sitting on the freezing table, I first realized that there might be a little more to this procedure than I thought. Then I saw the largest needle of my life. Seriously, the thing was 12 inches long and at least a half inch wide. When I questioned one of the many techs wandering around, I was assured that I wasn't going to be poked with the needle and given some lame excuse about the reason it was there. Stupidly, I bought the excuse, being somewhat distracted by the large group of people staring at me while I was naked from the waist down. Apparently the needle was used to allegedly "numb" my cervix. Yeah right. Still hurt.
Then the procedure began. OMG. Worst pain of my life. The idea of the HSG test is to inject dye into your fallopian tubes to look for blockages. It feels like really bad period cramps unless they find a blockage. Then they send this balloon inside and push the balloon and the dye against the blockage in an attempt to dislodge it. That really really really hurts. Worst pain of my life. Worst than my appendix. I couldn't even stand up straight for several hours after the procedure.
The verdict? One blocked fallopian tube. Not good, but at least one was functioning, so it was Mikey's turn. He had to provide a "sample" for mobility and quantity testing. The sample had to be provided in a cup, at the doctor's office to get an accurate reading. Poor guy. They handed him a cup and sent him to the bathroom of the Tanner Clinic. Everyone knew what he was doing. I probably should have been a bit more sympathetic, but I was still recovering emotionally from my HSG test and glad he was getting a taste of what I went through.
Mike's verdict? A very low sperm count with poor mobility. If I remember correctly, he was at 19 million per "sample". Seems like a lot right? Not when normal is 40 million plus. Male factor infertility accounts for 40% of all infertility cases. The downside to male factor infertility is that you can't provide men with the range of medications available to women. The doctor informed us it was time to seek out a specialist.
Time passed and we finally decided to follow through with the specialist. Utah fertility clinic was great. Pricey ($350 per apt), but good. Dr Heiner requested a special test to determine my egg quality. I can't remember the name, but thankfully it was only a blood test. The test determined the "age" of your eggs based on a chemical level in your blood while ovulating. If the level is high, its indicative of polycystic ovarian syndrome, a disease in which your body doesn't release eggs during ovulation. If the level is low, you have old eggs and it can indicate an early onset of menopause. Apparently I have the eggs of a 40 year old woman. I was 27 years old at the time of the test. There is nothing that can fix this problem. Your body only has so many eggs and when they are gone, so is your chance of having a biological child.
The recommendation from the doctor is trying a round of Inter Utero Insemination (IUI). This procedure involves the male providing a "sample". The sample is taken at the fertility center, filtered to obtain only the highest quality sperm, and then the sperm is placed in a special nourishing solution to increase mobility. Then a turkey baster is shoved up inside the woman and the solution is injected. We tried this procedure 3 times. The first time, Mikey's count was 10 million. It had dropped in half from the previous sample. The second try, the count was 3 million. The third try, it was 900,000.
There was no medical reason or treatment for this rapid decrease. It's simply genetic. By the second IUI, donor sperm or IVF was strongly suggested by the doctor. The cost of IVF was and still is impossible for our financial situation. Sperm donation is not something I'm comfortable with, mostly cause I've chatted with a few men who have donated or who thought about donating and that thought of my having their child (we wouldn't know the donors name, but still, I would always question it) made me realize that I'd rather stay childless. And in some cases, if it was a case of life and death, I would rather die.
That brings us pretty much to present day. I've had 2 miscarriages, which could be related to the poor sperm quality, my old eggs, or some other undiagnosed issue within me. The first one was with our first IUI attempt. It broke my heart. The second happened three months ago in the bathroom of the Syracuse movie theater. We stopped pursuing fertility treatments for few years after the 3rd IUI attempt because of the emotional trauma and difficulties it brought to our marriage and embraced the philosophy that whatever happens is meant to be. We started up again recently(at the time of the second miscarriage) and I've been taking a medication called clomid in hopes of producing multiple eggs during each ovulation cycle to compensate for Mikey's low sperm and my one blocked tube. Clomid sucks. I'm absolutely an emotional basket case. I want to scream for no reason at times and have NO patience. It takes every thing I have not to yell at people sometimes for silly things, such as loud breathing. I've had some pretty fantastic meltdowns over the past 3 months. Sorry Jess (just realized that there is a lot of apologizing to Jess in this) and Mikey. You guys are rock stars for putting up with my crazy.
9 mores days till I find out if this time it will be different. But even if it isn't, there will be some amazing lesson or reason for the failed attempt. Just a matter of figuring out what it is.
Next topic, relationships (cause I just didn't feel like discussing them today, but there has been a large effect on them) and adoption.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
2 Week Wait
Then next 10 days are pure torture. 10 days till I can find out if the latest round of fertility treatments actually worked.
I've experience the 10 day wait many times. 12 times a year for the past 5 years (and that's just the time spent actively trying. I'm not including the years that I just didn't use birth control and didn't care either way) ...it adds up. But for some reason it never gets any easier.
Every little cramp makes me think it's implantation. Every time I want to throw up (probably from stress) I wonder if its the start of morning sickness. Each time I want to snap at an innocent passerby (perhaps the start of pregnancy hormones?), I wonder. Acid reflux? A symptom of pregnancy. Tender breast? That's the first symptom most women notice. Unfortunately, these are also symptoms of starting your period, so there is no way to knowing yet. Hence, the horrible 10 day wait.
I know the waiting game is stressful for any couple trying to conceive, but the longer you struggle with infertility, the worst the wait gets. People are so quick to offer advice "just be patient" or, "if it doesn't work this time, just try again next month, its fun" Yeah, sex started out as fun and still is; except for ovulation week. Ovulation week I am insane. Mikey has a very low sperm count and I"ve only got one working Fallopian tube, so timing is critical. I have to pee on a stick for two weeks after I start my new cycle and when the two dark blue lines appear, its go time. Nothing gets in the way. Mikey's sick, I tell him to take some meds. He's not in the mood? I don't mind getting creative. (due to the fact my parents are reading this blog, I'm not going to give details) Wanna know? Just ask me. I come with references. LOL. I feel bad for Mikey that week because due to his low sperm count, we have to ensure he has the maximum sperm available. The guide lines are pretty strict in how to do this No ejaculation 4 days prior to ovulation. 've got a pretty good idea what day my ovulation falls on, so I know when to cut Mikey off, but no hanky pany on the side . I've been told by numerous men that this is difficult. And that happens to poor Mikey one day a week, for the past 5 years. Also, no caffeine or wearing tight underwear or pants. Also avoid stress. I always wonder how, outside of smoking pot constantly, one is supposed to avoid stress. It's a part of life.
You'd think after so long dealing with infertility, I'd learn to stop getting my hopes up, but I don't. That little part of me that still believes in unicorns never dies. Most of the time, this is a character trait is the one I value most, but when it comes to fertility treatments it's my Achilles heel. Each cycle I tell myself things will be different. The treatment will work, the doctor is wrong in saying that full on IVF is our only option, God will grant me a miracle since I've been patient so long, the list just keeps growing. The devastation of the negative test is like a knife in the heart and it's not something that everyone understands. "Be patient" or " my friend/sister/family member/or random person went through this and got pregnant as soon as they stopped trying" is the WORST advice to give to a infertile women. The reason being is, whoever got pregnant wasn't truly dealing with actually infertility(it can take a couple with no fertility issues about 12-24 months to conceive or they had a major miracle. It's called a miracle because that doesn't happen much. I'm the rule, not the exception, as are most infertile individuals. Despite this knowledge, after a week of mourning, I'm back and ready to do another round, convinced that "this time will be different"
Infertility/pregnancy is a huge factor in my life. My job requires daily involvement with single parents, many of whom are pregnant and have young children. Thankfully I've always felt of my customers as "my children" so dealing with them doesn't present an issue with me, but I know it has been difficult for co-workers dealing with infertility. It affects friendships, relationships with family, and my marriage. I'm extremely grateful that my optimism helps me rebound, but sometimes, even that isn't enough and I cry in the shower or into my pillow when the hurt gets to bad. I know friends have suffered from this same condition, but so far, all but one has still managed to conceive biological children. I know that one day, this couple will conceive and I'll walking the road again alone. This is the reason I'm writing about infertility. I feel that up to this point, I have been needed as emotional support for people and one of the reason God has give me this as a trial. This is the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes.
Mikey's had a rough time with infertility as well. Its a blow on a man's pride when he is unable to father a child and we've spent years in counseling dealing with these issues and the hurt on both ends. With the the severity of Mikey's issue, the doctors have informed us that realistically we would need to try IVF, but our money tree died and I can't go back and collect the $15000 needed for a money back guarantee attempt. Without the guarantee, the cost is still $10000, if I'm spending my money, I'm getting it back if the IVF treatment is unsuccessful.
Another thing that REALLY sucks when you are infertile is a miscarriage. Enough said.
Sorry to ramble on, but I've got 10 days to kill.
Next up is how infertility affected my marriage and a few of the people I love most in the word. Some of those relationships I have damaged beyond all hopes of repair, but its a good learning experience. Wish with all my soul I could change the things that have happened, but I know I've grown a lot as a person and really had to reassess my values. Once again, hard things have proven to be a blessing in disguise, lame but true.
I've experience the 10 day wait many times. 12 times a year for the past 5 years (and that's just the time spent actively trying. I'm not including the years that I just didn't use birth control and didn't care either way) ...it adds up. But for some reason it never gets any easier.
Every little cramp makes me think it's implantation. Every time I want to throw up (probably from stress) I wonder if its the start of morning sickness. Each time I want to snap at an innocent passerby (perhaps the start of pregnancy hormones?), I wonder. Acid reflux? A symptom of pregnancy. Tender breast? That's the first symptom most women notice. Unfortunately, these are also symptoms of starting your period, so there is no way to knowing yet. Hence, the horrible 10 day wait.
I know the waiting game is stressful for any couple trying to conceive, but the longer you struggle with infertility, the worst the wait gets. People are so quick to offer advice "just be patient" or, "if it doesn't work this time, just try again next month, its fun" Yeah, sex started out as fun and still is; except for ovulation week. Ovulation week I am insane. Mikey has a very low sperm count and I"ve only got one working Fallopian tube, so timing is critical. I have to pee on a stick for two weeks after I start my new cycle and when the two dark blue lines appear, its go time. Nothing gets in the way. Mikey's sick, I tell him to take some meds. He's not in the mood? I don't mind getting creative. (due to the fact my parents are reading this blog, I'm not going to give details) Wanna know? Just ask me. I come with references. LOL. I feel bad for Mikey that week because due to his low sperm count, we have to ensure he has the maximum sperm available. The guide lines are pretty strict in how to do this No ejaculation 4 days prior to ovulation. 've got a pretty good idea what day my ovulation falls on, so I know when to cut Mikey off, but no hanky pany on the side . I've been told by numerous men that this is difficult. And that happens to poor Mikey one day a week, for the past 5 years. Also, no caffeine or wearing tight underwear or pants. Also avoid stress. I always wonder how, outside of smoking pot constantly, one is supposed to avoid stress. It's a part of life.
You'd think after so long dealing with infertility, I'd learn to stop getting my hopes up, but I don't. That little part of me that still believes in unicorns never dies. Most of the time, this is a character trait is the one I value most, but when it comes to fertility treatments it's my Achilles heel. Each cycle I tell myself things will be different. The treatment will work, the doctor is wrong in saying that full on IVF is our only option, God will grant me a miracle since I've been patient so long, the list just keeps growing. The devastation of the negative test is like a knife in the heart and it's not something that everyone understands. "Be patient" or " my friend/sister/family member/or random person went through this and got pregnant as soon as they stopped trying" is the WORST advice to give to a infertile women. The reason being is, whoever got pregnant wasn't truly dealing with actually infertility(it can take a couple with no fertility issues about 12-24 months to conceive or they had a major miracle. It's called a miracle because that doesn't happen much. I'm the rule, not the exception, as are most infertile individuals. Despite this knowledge, after a week of mourning, I'm back and ready to do another round, convinced that "this time will be different"
Infertility/pregnancy is a huge factor in my life. My job requires daily involvement with single parents, many of whom are pregnant and have young children. Thankfully I've always felt of my customers as "my children" so dealing with them doesn't present an issue with me, but I know it has been difficult for co-workers dealing with infertility. It affects friendships, relationships with family, and my marriage. I'm extremely grateful that my optimism helps me rebound, but sometimes, even that isn't enough and I cry in the shower or into my pillow when the hurt gets to bad. I know friends have suffered from this same condition, but so far, all but one has still managed to conceive biological children. I know that one day, this couple will conceive and I'll walking the road again alone. This is the reason I'm writing about infertility. I feel that up to this point, I have been needed as emotional support for people and one of the reason God has give me this as a trial. This is the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes.
Mikey's had a rough time with infertility as well. Its a blow on a man's pride when he is unable to father a child and we've spent years in counseling dealing with these issues and the hurt on both ends. With the the severity of Mikey's issue, the doctors have informed us that realistically we would need to try IVF, but our money tree died and I can't go back and collect the $15000 needed for a money back guarantee attempt. Without the guarantee, the cost is still $10000, if I'm spending my money, I'm getting it back if the IVF treatment is unsuccessful.
Another thing that REALLY sucks when you are infertile is a miscarriage. Enough said.
Sorry to ramble on, but I've got 10 days to kill.
Next up is how infertility affected my marriage and a few of the people I love most in the word. Some of those relationships I have damaged beyond all hopes of repair, but its a good learning experience. Wish with all my soul I could change the things that have happened, but I know I've grown a lot as a person and really had to reassess my values. Once again, hard things have proven to be a blessing in disguise, lame but true.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
setting the stage
ok, lets start with the basics. im twenty nine and have been married for eight years. my husband,mike, is thirty.
going into our marriage, i had told mike that it may be difficult to have chldren because of a surgery i had as a child that left scarring around my fallopian tubes. we were young and dumb and convinced ourselves that this really wasnt going to be an issue.
mike and i dated only a few months before we got married and as a result of this, and the fact neither of us had steady jobs yet, we put starting a family on the backburner while we adjusted to married life. i wont lie and tell you it was perfect. we had two unemployed people who didnt know each other very well. there were definatly growing pains, and im glad we had the first three yeas of our marriage to build as a base, because what was about to happen flipped our world upside down. during the first three years, i got a job with the utah department of workforce services which still am working at today and loving every min. looking back, im so blessed to have the co workers and managers ive worked with because they have been my rocks. work and the good we do in the community has helped me deal with the challenges life threw my way. mikey hopped through differerent jobs with fairly short employment and long stretches of unemployment. the rest is a story for another day....
going into our marriage, i had told mike that it may be difficult to have chldren because of a surgery i had as a child that left scarring around my fallopian tubes. we were young and dumb and convinced ourselves that this really wasnt going to be an issue.
mike and i dated only a few months before we got married and as a result of this, and the fact neither of us had steady jobs yet, we put starting a family on the backburner while we adjusted to married life. i wont lie and tell you it was perfect. we had two unemployed people who didnt know each other very well. there were definatly growing pains, and im glad we had the first three yeas of our marriage to build as a base, because what was about to happen flipped our world upside down. during the first three years, i got a job with the utah department of workforce services which still am working at today and loving every min. looking back, im so blessed to have the co workers and managers ive worked with because they have been my rocks. work and the good we do in the community has helped me deal with the challenges life threw my way. mikey hopped through differerent jobs with fairly short employment and long stretches of unemployment. the rest is a story for another day....
infertility
my husband, mike, and i have been dealing with infertility for the past five years. its been a struggle to put it tactfully. i was asked by a family member to provide some insight for those struggling in this same area and it was extremely theraputic. after i gave him the information though, i realized that there is so many additional areas of my life that have been impacted by infertility. friendships gained and lost, a floundering relationship with my husband we had to work very hard to fix, and some really poor choices that were made along the way. but there is so much goodness anad love and little miracles along the way. ive become a better, stronger, more compassionate person as a result of this trial. i wouldnt change my experiences. some of us are meant to walk a different path and right now, children arent on my path. who knows what the future holds though. whatever it is, im sure it will be amazing and exactly what i need to become a better person.
since so many people struggle with this issue, im going to tell my story. it may get uncomfortable at times cause im not holding back, but i know that others have been or will be put in these types of situations and if i can offer insight and help, then my experiences are totally
worth it.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
My Stories
Blog update:
So I decided to make a list of all my most embarrassing moments over the past 15 years. I figure I could make an HBO series or something. Or write a book.
-Rollerblading into a coke machine in the Harmon’s parking lot at 16 years old because I was staring at the extremely attractive guy collecting carts.
-Forgetting to put my car in park and driving into a gas station pump. Thankfully still in high school when I managed this genius move.
-Kicked Mike (my husband) in the head when he proposed because I thought he was kidding.
-Attended a “slumber party” with co-workers and friends. Most of us were geniuses and went out back to try out a product. Unfortunately, we all went together.
-Fell asleep on the floor of my brother’s coffee shop and drooled all over. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the delivery guy hadn’t shown up.
-Shoved one of my best friends into a spider so it could eat her while I ran away.
-Unbuttoned a co-worker’s pants when her fingers were broken. She seemed like she needed the help.
-Grew out my arm pit hair in a contest to see who could grow the longest in the office.
-Conducted a “Toga Party” in a friends house and informed all the guest that you can’t wear pants to a real Toga party.
-Invented “Interpretive Scarf Dancing”. This lovely form of dance involves waving various fabrics around and roping people watching.
-Swore very loudly at work when a fake spider was dropped on my head.
-Unzipped my husband’s pants with my toe in front of friends because no one thought I could do it. Defiantly didn’t think that one through!!
-Tried to show up my awesome skateboarding moves and ollied my board off a 6-foot cement wall.
-Forgot to take my keys out of the ignition and left my car running for 5 hours.
-Seriously considered getting “bittersweet symphony” tattooed on my wrists.
-Ran around and kissed all my friends on the neck/cheek/lips one night.
-Streaked down the street in a quite retirement area
-Attempted to teach Kacey's dog Yoga
-Preformed Swan Lake with no ballet training while knocking over all the furniture in a friends living room
-Substitute vodka for water in a brownie recipie. Pretty lucky we didn't blow up the oven.
-Ran up and down park city main street throwing leaves screaming that it was fall.
If you can think of any more, add em’.
-Streaked down the street in a quite retirement area
-Attempted to teach Kacey's dog Yoga
-Preformed Swan Lake with no ballet training while knocking over all the furniture in a friends living room
-Substitute vodka for water in a brownie recipie. Pretty lucky we didn't blow up the oven.
-Ran up and down park city main street throwing leaves screaming that it was fall.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
When it comes to medical procedures, men have it WAY easier than women.
Mike and I are trying another IUI (turkey baster) today. Hopefully this one works and the next time I blog I will be pregnant. But really, probably not.
So anyway, Mike and I were discussing the medical procedures that we have endured so far in our attempts to conceive. Normally, trying to get pregnant is quite a fun process, but when you have fertility issues, it turns into one big overshare. Mike feels that he has endured the most humiliating procedures, but I know I’m the winner.
Yes, Mike is handed a cup and sent to a private room, but at least his part is private! Granted, there are a few doctor’s at the Tanner Clinic he probably will never see again as a result of some additional testing (lumps, but he’s fine), but I’ve got a whole hospital that I’m never going to again since the entire radiology staff gathered around for an up close and personal show. Apparently the HSG test is quite the uncommon procedure at Davis. Or they needed something to talk about in the break room.
The HSG test isn’t the only humiliating procedure I endured. There’s the check for endometriosis (where the Dr. shoves their entire hand inside and starts poking around) and all the extremely personal questions regarding past activities and partners.
Now onto the actual insemination. Yes, Mike has to go in his little room, but my part is pretty much like the video we viewed in High School about cows on a dairy farm. Not a pretty picture. It doesn’t help that Mike is sitting around smirking since this whole thing was my idea.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Reality. It'll slap you in the face.
So we tried IUI (the turkey baster/cow approach) last month and it didn’t work. I can honestly say it was the second most devastating thing in my life. My eyes were swollen for two days from crying, something that has never happened before. I even missed a day of work cause I couldn’t face coming and seeing all the mom’s I’m surrounded by each and every day.
Poor Mike has been wonderful though it all. I’m so grateful that he never once has blamed me or said anything negative at all. He’s been so supportive and positive. He’s one in a million. People have asked me if Mike is being nice to me about the infertility thing. It makes me laugh because they actually seem concerned that he would be angry at me. I don’t even think it’s in his nature to get mad about something like that.
I wonder if I would be so sensitive if I didn’t work with single parents. It’s a mixed blessing I guess. It hurts hearing about their families, especially those who had a child “by accident”; but at the same time, I feel like they are my adopted kids and take joy in their success. So for the most part, my job helps heal some of the hurt by providing me with surrogate children.
Friends are another mixed blessing.
I have some amazing friends and family. Each of them have endured their own set of trials and have taught me so much about life and tenacity. I’m so grateful for you all and know that you want only the best for me. I only want the best for you too.
At times, I know many friends struggle to understand what I (and some other friends dealing with infertility go through). I know that newly pregnant friends just want to share their joy, and can’t understand why we pull away at times. It’s not that we aren’t happy for them (Truly, I can say that all the girls I know dealing with infertility are thrilled for their friends who become pregnant), but having a constant reminder of their ability to bear children, is painful. We don’t expect you worry about our feelings, that’s not your responsibility, but do respect our right to temporarily take ourselves out of a painful situation.
For a vivid comparison, think of it like a surgery incision. If you constantly pick at it, there is no way it can heal and the infection that grows can be life threatening. Even when it heals on the surface, there is a wound underneath that can take years to heal, and if it’s poked and prodded enough, the wound can re open. Constant conversation about babies and pregnancy, even with the best intent, picks at the scab. Please, don’t stop talking and being happy to accommodate us. We don’t expect the world to revolve around our struggles, simply allow us the option to withdraw when it becomes too painful. Don’t take it personally, because it’s not about you. In fact, we are thrilled for you. The most wonderful thing we can imagine is happening for you! If we pull away, it’s really not you; it’s that surgery incision flaring up. Let us heal and not drag you down in your time of joy.
I know you mean well with the comments of “Don’t worry, it will happen to you”, ect; but it doesn’t help. Let’s be honest, it’s not going to happen for everyone and we have no way of knowing if we will be the miracle or the statistic. Neither do you. We have to find our purpose, the reason we have this challenge, and that’s an individual journey. It may take week or years, but it will be found and we can heal. Just give us the time and space we need to get there, because I promise, when we arrive, it’s going to be amazing.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Life Isn't Fair
This blog is not going to be particularly light hearted. Fair warning before you proceed. This is me venting my feelings and I'm not good about using a journal, so I figured sharing it on the Internet where random strangers can view is a good alternative. Also, before I start, to my friends and family who are pregnant and/have children, please don't take this personally. I love you all and am super happy for you. Each one of you deserves the wonderful opportunity you have been given to be a parent.
That being said, I hate the fact I can't get pregnant. It isn't fair. I hate the fact that at the end of my story, no medication, surgery, praying, or pity is going to make me a mother. I will have to rely on the kindness or irresponsibility of stranger (as well as a lot of money on my end) to become a parent. It's not that I would sacrifice for this, I would give up anything in a heartbeat, but someone tell me how taking out a $20,000 loan for an adoption is going to help me become a better parent than say a drug addict with 5 kids she already doesn't care for? I know I'm generalizing, and since you all know what I do for a living, this sounds a little harsh, and I really do believe people can change, yadda yadda yadda. But please, tell me truely, where is the justice in this? I am a responsible adult. I have saved, have a good job, worked on developing a strong marriage, ect to prepare for a child, and I get squat. I try to be a good person, care about others, all that good stuff. But at the end of the day, it's just Mike and me in our house all alone.
We tried the foster care thing, but it's amazing how many things manged to go wrong in that month which kept us from finishing. Mike and I will resume classes next time they are offered in our area, but that's at least 4 months out, not to mention the time that it will take to be placed with a child and at the rate things are going with Mike's job, we may not even be in UT at that time to finish the classes, which once again brings me back to the $20,000 a private adoption.
I love my nieces and nephews, but lets face it, it's not the same. The one time it was close enough that I thought I could live with not being a mother, my niece was killed. Once again, please shed some light on how that one is going to work out for the best or what the big purpose behind that was.
I'm sorry this is so negative. I really don't ever talk about this and I promise this is the last time it will ever come up, but I just had to get this off my chest. I've spent years sucking my feelings back and you know what? It feels a lot better to get them out.
That being said, I hate the fact I can't get pregnant. It isn't fair. I hate the fact that at the end of my story, no medication, surgery, praying, or pity is going to make me a mother. I will have to rely on the kindness or irresponsibility of stranger (as well as a lot of money on my end) to become a parent. It's not that I would sacrifice for this, I would give up anything in a heartbeat, but someone tell me how taking out a $20,000 loan for an adoption is going to help me become a better parent than say a drug addict with 5 kids she already doesn't care for? I know I'm generalizing, and since you all know what I do for a living, this sounds a little harsh, and I really do believe people can change, yadda yadda yadda. But please, tell me truely, where is the justice in this? I am a responsible adult. I have saved, have a good job, worked on developing a strong marriage, ect to prepare for a child, and I get squat. I try to be a good person, care about others, all that good stuff. But at the end of the day, it's just Mike and me in our house all alone.
We tried the foster care thing, but it's amazing how many things manged to go wrong in that month which kept us from finishing. Mike and I will resume classes next time they are offered in our area, but that's at least 4 months out, not to mention the time that it will take to be placed with a child and at the rate things are going with Mike's job, we may not even be in UT at that time to finish the classes, which once again brings me back to the $20,000 a private adoption.
I love my nieces and nephews, but lets face it, it's not the same. The one time it was close enough that I thought I could live with not being a mother, my niece was killed. Once again, please shed some light on how that one is going to work out for the best or what the big purpose behind that was.
I'm sorry this is so negative. I really don't ever talk about this and I promise this is the last time it will ever come up, but I just had to get this off my chest. I've spent years sucking my feelings back and you know what? It feels a lot better to get them out.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Foot Fungus
I think I have foot fungus. I was sitting at work today wondering who had horrible B.O. then realized it was my feet. I do have to say, they are particularly stinky today, not that I normally smell my feet, but occasionally whiffs drift upwards. Don’t even pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about, this happens to everyone.
I think may have something to do with a pedicure I got 3 weeks ago. Ever since then, there has been this little black bubble near the nail on my big toe. At first, I figured this was just a result of some of the glitter or adhesive that was used to stick all the glitter and goop onto my toe, but as the smell gets worse, I’m thinking it is some type of fungus. I’ve tried clipping it off with clippers, rubbing medicated ointment on it, and washing it. Nothing has worked so far.
Yes, I know, that’s a disgusting over share, but you read it!!!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Butt Harness
Scout, Dori, Homer, Cheeto, Louie, and I have been watching the Dog Whisperer each night as we fall asleep. Last night, Homer had the awesome idea to take the dogs rollerblading, something that Cesar does all the time to exercise his dogs. Scout and Dori were into it, so today after work, Mikey and I harnessed up the dogs and went rollerblading while the cats watched from the window.
I should have known this would be harder than it appeared on TV the moment I stood up. Another sign was the fact that it took me 10 min to figure how to get down the 2 stairs outside my door without falling. After a few minutes, I was able to blade in a ridiculous position (butt out, arms extended, head up).
Dori was straining at her leash the entire time. No matter how fast we were going, she wanted to go just a bit faster. Keep in mind, she is a toy poodle who weighs maybe 5 lbs, but she was running full speed ahead of me yelling at all of us to hurry up.
Scout brought up the rear. This is an unusual position for Scout. He's the dog who is constantly yapping at anyone withing hearing range to run and play with him. He can't get enough walks and sometimes, late at night, I wake up to the creepy sight of Scout starring at me from about an inch away telepathically informing me he wants to go on a walk RIGHT then.
Mike is in awesome shape, so he was getting pretty tired of holding back for Scout and me. We managed to make it about 2 and a half miles before the dogs and I were both done. Dori tried super hard to keep going, but Scout and I had enough. Mike was literally dragging Scout at one point since he refused to move forward. In the end, he rigged a type of butt harness that pulled Scout along by pushing his butt. I've decided that I need one for our next exercise adventure.
I could see the cat's laughing in the window as we returned. Obviously they had some alterer motive for getting us out of the house. I bet they threw up on something. If I come to work with a hairball on my shirt, will someone please tell me?
I should have known this would be harder than it appeared on TV the moment I stood up. Another sign was the fact that it took me 10 min to figure how to get down the 2 stairs outside my door without falling. After a few minutes, I was able to blade in a ridiculous position (butt out, arms extended, head up).
Dori was straining at her leash the entire time. No matter how fast we were going, she wanted to go just a bit faster. Keep in mind, she is a toy poodle who weighs maybe 5 lbs, but she was running full speed ahead of me yelling at all of us to hurry up.
Scout brought up the rear. This is an unusual position for Scout. He's the dog who is constantly yapping at anyone withing hearing range to run and play with him. He can't get enough walks and sometimes, late at night, I wake up to the creepy sight of Scout starring at me from about an inch away telepathically informing me he wants to go on a walk RIGHT then.
Mike is in awesome shape, so he was getting pretty tired of holding back for Scout and me. We managed to make it about 2 and a half miles before the dogs and I were both done. Dori tried super hard to keep going, but Scout and I had enough. Mike was literally dragging Scout at one point since he refused to move forward. In the end, he rigged a type of butt harness that pulled Scout along by pushing his butt. I've decided that I need one for our next exercise adventure.
I could see the cat's laughing in the window as we returned. Obviously they had some alterer motive for getting us out of the house. I bet they threw up on something. If I come to work with a hairball on my shirt, will someone please tell me?
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Snakes of Summer
Summer has returned to Syracuse. The grass is green, tulips are blooming, birds are singing…. And the summer snakes have returned.
I went to go get the mail yesterday and while trekking through our long grass, a light rustling of grass right by my foot caught my attention. When I looked down, there was a 2 foot long garden snake by my foot. I leaped one way with a piercing scream while the snake slithered off quickly in another direction, about as scared of me as I was of it. However, this was not to be the end of my ordeal.
As I ran quickly to the mailbox where the grass is virtually non existent and I can see my feet, I picked up a few rocks to defend myself with. (Keep in mind, my husband is watching all this laughing) The snake had settled down a ways and was sunning itself on the street. Since I didn’t want it coming back into my yard, I started throwing the rocks at it. I have a terrible aim however so the rocks didn’t come anywhere close to the snake, but as I didn’t want the snake in my yard, I needed to come up with another way to get rid of it.
I debated getting the shovel off my front porch and chopping it up (a move I have seen my dad do several times), but this wasn’t practical as it would involve a venture through the grass again potentially startling more snakes while turning my back on the large snake on the road. Another option was to grab the snake and throw it. So not going to happen, neither was running at the snake to scare it. I finally decided to grab a large tree branch and attempt to beat the snake with it till it ran away and told all it’s snakey friends about the crazy lady living in the little white house. I picked up the tree branch, walked towards the snake and took a few practice swipes. Then the strangest thing happened. Suddenly I felt bad for the snake. Sure, it had scared me and I still didn’t like it, and sure, if I didn’t kill it, the snake would probably move back into my yard, but it was still a living creature.
Long story short, the snake is still alive. But hopefully it will tell all it’s little snakey friends about my random act of kindness and they will stay out of my house this year
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Maren Stew
I think my cat, Homer, wants to eat me. I read an article once that cats are the only housepet that would eat their owners. Don’t get me wrong, I love Homer dearly and I know he loves me, but I still thing he wants Maren stew. I also have some facts to back me up.
- Homer enjoys rubbing noses. He likes nothing better then to stand on your stomach, stare you in the face, and rub his nose against yours. After a few seconds of rubbing however, he starts nibbling. Then he takes a huge, hard bite and keeps trying to bite as you are shoving him away.
- Homer enjoys nibbling on your fingernails. Especially if you have long nails. He starts out small, then before you know it, he’s taken a huge chomp. It’s quite painful actually. I’ve tried to stop him by using Tabasco sauce, but apparently that is just seasoning for the Maren stew.
- Homer attacks any animals that touch me. He will smack around the dogs and the other cats. I think he wants to keep me all for himself.
- Homer can take down large animals. The doors were left open one day and when Mike and I came home, he was laying in the middle of the floor with a pheasant. A LARGE pheasant.
- Homer keeps bringing me presents to fatten me up. Snakes, birds, various insects have all been brought to me. Once, he even chased me with a snake in his mouth he was so determined to give it to me.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Real Friends Bring You Toilet Paper
I spent Saturday night sending creepy text messages to my friends using song lyrics. Usually, no one would think that Celina Dion songs would be creepy, but just imagine getting texts at 11:30 pm saying “Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you” and “Far across the distance, the spaces between us…”, you get the drift. Thankfully no charges were filed and I believe all parties involved are still speaking to me. It probably helped that we were all sitting together at Dennys while this was taking place. This experience is a pretty good summary of the day. But, let me start at the beginning.
Saturday morning Mike and I decided to test drive cars. We are dreaming about a VW Toureg as our family car, but lack the $65,000 to purchase the vehicle. A girl can dream though, so we decided to take a test drive. The Toureg was everything I hoped. It turned on a time, had a heater and AC (those who have driven in my car know the value I place on a working AC), and real time navigation to get out of traffic jams. Amazing! Now I just need to win the lottery…..
During the afternoon Mike and I split for a bit as he went to a funeral and I went to hang out with friends. I jumped on a tramp with Trina’s niece, petted baby ducks, and spent an hour and a half at the Audi dealership dreaming of a $97,000 car that actually would drive itself. Mike went to a funeral.
When I finally met up with Mike later, we joined a group of friends at Denny’s where the creepy text messaging began. Shortly after sending the first message (from the bathroom) I realized out was out of toilet paper and there was no one in the restroom to ask for a hand. hahaha. This wasn’t an air dry situation, so I broke down and called for help.
Near Death Experience
I had a near death experience driving into work this morning. As I’m whipping down the freeway going 75 mph at 6:00 am, my entire car shut off. When I say shut off, I mean completely shut down. No brakes, no power steering, no gas, nothing. I cut across 5 lanes of traffic to the nearest exit, got clipped on the back end, and coasted to a stop. All during a rainstorm.
As my car had 180,000 miles on it, I knew this day was coming, but I didn’t anticipate the car failing as I was whipping down the freeway. I figured it would be more along the lines of the car not starting one day. I was extremely shaken. For about 5 min, I couldn’t even figure out how to work my phone to call Mike, or AAA, or anyone who could help. Honestly, I can’t believe I was able to think straight enough to get off the freeway and find a safe place to coast to a stop. Apparently the older you get, the better you think in intense situations. A younger Maren would have thrown up her hands and started screaming, or possibly tried to jump out of the car.
I did learn a few things about myself from this experience, which I’m grateful for.
First of all, I am learning to handle stress a LOT better than I used to. No longer does a serious situation render me a crying mess. Instead, I am able to get myself to a safe place and then think through the options. I also can talk myself down, which is how I figured out how to use the phone again. (Though I never did manage to find the hazard lights)
Second, I like living. There is nothing like thinking you are going to get smashed into pieces to remind you how wonderful life really is.
Third, I REALLY hate driving. So next time I have to go somewhere with someone, come pick me up.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Bucket List
So, apparently lots of people have bucket lists, so I figured I should write mine down so I can start ticking them off. And by the way, if I die before I get done, I expect my friends and family to mummify me and finish the list off.
1. Go to Hawaii. I've been trying to get there since 6th grade when my parents wouldn't let me go with the school choir group.
2. Hike over Pine Valley Mountain. To those of you who aren't familiar with St. George, this means nothing. To those of you who know the mountain, you know I better get on that treadmill......
3. Be a mom. Unfortunately, this appears to be the hardest to fulfill. Good thing trying is really fun!!
4. Drive a dogsled. I like dogs, I like snow, I like being carried. Seems like a winner all around. (this would shouldn't be to hard if I'm dead. Just strap me in and throw a bone. I think I'll leave that one till last.)
I really feel like there should be more stuff on there. If anyone has fun ideas, lets hear them.
1. Go to Hawaii. I've been trying to get there since 6th grade when my parents wouldn't let me go with the school choir group.
2. Hike over Pine Valley Mountain. To those of you who aren't familiar with St. George, this means nothing. To those of you who know the mountain, you know I better get on that treadmill......
3. Be a mom. Unfortunately, this appears to be the hardest to fulfill. Good thing trying is really fun!!
4. Drive a dogsled. I like dogs, I like snow, I like being carried. Seems like a winner all around. (this would shouldn't be to hard if I'm dead. Just strap me in and throw a bone. I think I'll leave that one till last.)
I really feel like there should be more stuff on there. If anyone has fun ideas, lets hear them.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Of Mice and Thongs
So there was a thong on the breakroom table today at work. A nice black thong. I don't think anyone got close enough to see if the thong had been used, but it raised a lot of questions.
Where was it from? Where had it been? Why was it there?
At this time, the questions remain unanswered, but we did get a few good pictures and a funny story.
Also, a mouse has moved into my cubicle. It's super cute. Kinda gross in a diseased way, but super cute. I guess that's a pretty telling statement on my cleaning habits.
Oh, and FYI, I had my friend send me a picture of the thong, but I gave her the wrong phone number on accident, so a random stranger got a picture of the thong. Lol. I hope it brightened up their day.
Where was it from? Where had it been? Why was it there?
At this time, the questions remain unanswered, but we did get a few good pictures and a funny story.
Also, a mouse has moved into my cubicle. It's super cute. Kinda gross in a diseased way, but super cute. I guess that's a pretty telling statement on my cleaning habits.
Oh, and FYI, I had my friend send me a picture of the thong, but I gave her the wrong phone number on accident, so a random stranger got a picture of the thong. Lol. I hope it brightened up their day.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
True Friends
So, I saw a video today about true friends. Granted, it was a cat and a dog, but I think the lesson can be applied to all.
A true friend stands by you, shows an interest in what you do, puts up with you-even when you are annoying, never gives up on you, and will always love you no matter what.
http://purinaanimalallstars.yahoo.com/?v=8810281&l=3705182
Look up this link and video 163 - true friend
A true friend stands by you, shows an interest in what you do, puts up with you-even when you are annoying, never gives up on you, and will always love you no matter what.
http://purinaanimalallstars.yahoo.com/?v=8810281&l=3705182
Look up this link and video 163 - true friend
Thursday, April 7, 2011
My First Blog
I wore a plastic bag over my head today on my lunch break. Strange, I know, but I did have a reason.
I'm working at the Downtown DWS office today which is right by the Gateway Mall. This is my FAVORITE mall in Utah, so I'm always thrilled to work at this office. I wandered down to Gateway to enjoy 30 min of window shopping while being super healthy and getting a walk in. Storm clouds were off in the distance and I didn't think a 30 shopping spree would be an issue.
By the time I left Baby Gap (buying super cute clothing for my niece and nephews), it was raining harder than I have ever seen. A wall of water was pouring from the sky, hail was begining to bounce down, and I was stranded 4 blocks from work with only a T shirt, jeans, and some flip flops. My boots, coat, and gloves were sitting nicely folded on my desk.
I had no one to call, no bus coming by for 20 more min, and no idea what to do. I couldn'twalk back to work without some type of cover, I would be totally drenched and not professional enough to meet with customers. No umbrella's were being sold in the vicinity, so that wasn't an option either. Hitchhiking did come to mind, but there are some crazies around here that I wouldn't want to get into a car with, so the logical choice was to find a plastic bag, put it over my head like a bonnet, and pull out a trash liner from the garbage can to make a poncho.
I still ended up looking like a drowned rat, but I gave some people a good laugh as they drove by.
I'm working at the Downtown DWS office today which is right by the Gateway Mall. This is my FAVORITE mall in Utah, so I'm always thrilled to work at this office. I wandered down to Gateway to enjoy 30 min of window shopping while being super healthy and getting a walk in. Storm clouds were off in the distance and I didn't think a 30 shopping spree would be an issue.
By the time I left Baby Gap (buying super cute clothing for my niece and nephews), it was raining harder than I have ever seen. A wall of water was pouring from the sky, hail was begining to bounce down, and I was stranded 4 blocks from work with only a T shirt, jeans, and some flip flops. My boots, coat, and gloves were sitting nicely folded on my desk.
I had no one to call, no bus coming by for 20 more min, and no idea what to do. I couldn'twalk back to work without some type of cover, I would be totally drenched and not professional enough to meet with customers. No umbrella's were being sold in the vicinity, so that wasn't an option either. Hitchhiking did come to mind, but there are some crazies around here that I wouldn't want to get into a car with, so the logical choice was to find a plastic bag, put it over my head like a bonnet, and pull out a trash liner from the garbage can to make a poncho.
I still ended up looking like a drowned rat, but I gave some people a good laugh as they drove by.
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